Advice from Indigos




Advice to Parents from Indigos



From: Tegan Owen

Well I am an indigo-child, well not a child anymore as I am 27, but if I look back on my childhood, and how I am at the moment this would be the most important for me:

Honesty!!! As I always intuitively know when someone is being dishonest, I get soo frustrated with them, and feel that the are insulting both my intelligence and my intuitiveness by being dishonest with me. I also hate it when a person is not open or is "beating around the bush". I want to know everything all the time. Often I know or feel I know it all ready and just want confirmation of the fact, and when people just refuse to be open about something or to tell me why something is the way they see it, I get very irritated. That goes hand in hand with people that live by tradition and do things for reasons only known to generations before them. How can one do something, if you have not questioned it, and it is both illogical and nonsensical???

So I think parents must be honest, open-minded and always logically reason everything they say to their indigo children they must question and challenge themselves. Find new ways of doing things, and not hide behind traditional nonsense (oh yes and of course treat us like the royalty we always think we are. 'don't you know who I am?' ..just kidding, hehe)

What I also want to say, if I could wish anything for this world, it would be for people to feel compete understanding, acceptance and love for all their fellow souls on this planet!

Love and light
Tegan


From: Jill

as an Indigo myself, and as an aunt to very gifted Indigo nephew, here is what I think on this topic...

Indigo children of ALL ages MUST have choices, and they need to be told WHY, if when there is an answer of NO, or one they do not like/want. Negotiate negotiate negotiate!

They will never EVER accept a plain "No, just because I said so" type of discipline. ( Believe me, my Mom continually forced that type of "NO" with me, and it made things way way worse every single time, it caused me to act out in many self destructive ways, and I'd do anything to save even ONE kid from that nightmare) It will ONLY cause MORE problems for them and their folks to no end! Because the indigo kids KNOW theres a reason why! ( In fact they usually know what that reason IS when parents refuse to try with them they inevitably rebel or withdraw, equally BAD )

They will expect to be told, and if/when they disagree, the parent must be able to utilize the compromise concept-always. Always! Consistency is so important as well. And they fully undertsand the concept of "WHY", if it is explained to them as you would an adult, for they ARE adults, in their cognitive, intuitive abilities to "get it".

The most crucial thing in MY opinion a parent should know is that they must be open to learning FROM their child, as well as teaching them. It must be a mutual situation.

Rewards are also great, incentives, and so on..to help work towards handling their frustrations in more positive ways/outlets. And they NEED creative outlets, in whatever they are into at the moment, for it usual IS for about a moment, then they master it, and are off to the next fun "thing" to do/learn/master perfect:) I ought to know;) I am THE Jill of all trades, master of none;)


From: YVONNE Zollikofer (Switzerland)

The link to my indigo-parents-group in German is :
Indigo-Kinder-subscribe@egroups.de

I'm the parent of an indigo (8) and I myself think I'm sort of pre-indigo.

I would say one thing that's important with indigo-children is to find the correct balance of leaving them their freedom to develop, and giving them the necessary limits and being concequent with them - and always explaining why a limit exists.

If they speak about things we adults don't seem to understand - don't say it's nonsense - just take it as it is and try to imagine it's true. Don't stop them to say "weird" things.

Show them your love in each situation - also when they have a explosion of energy in any way - be strict where necessary but show your love !

Never say things that are not perfectly true - they know. If you talked with a neighbour about them and they asked what you wheretalking about - say the truth. Take them as sort of adult soul in the body of a child and help them to accept this - it's not easy for them . I could feel that from the very first day of Victor's life.

love
Yvonne


from Linda, age 46, Florida

Hi everybody,

I to as a child felt different. I didn't fit in in school. My father was very strict my mother was not. It was a constant struggle. I felt completely alone and couldn't understand why. I was unhappy as a child (at least from what I can remember). To this day I don't remember most of my childhood. Probably from choice. As an adult I turned to Alcohol to take away my dis-ease. I do remember being pushed to believe certain things that in my heart I knew was not completely "right". I always felt that there was more to life and felt alone. Today I do know who I am (most of the time.. :-) ). Especially after I read CWG. (Conversations with God)

I am also a parent of an 11 yo Indigo Child. What a journey! He was born when I was 36 yo. I am now 46. This wonderful gift I received is not always fun! :-). At times I realize I'm being just like my father was, strict...over strict. I know I have to set limits just to keep my son from spinning out of control. I catch myself and change the way I relate to him. He is definitely an old soul...full of compassion and surprises!

With love
Linda


From: Heather Crawford

Hey Wendy,

I am an indigo myself and i also teach 3-6 yr olds to ski (who are obviously mostly indigos). So here's some of the stuff i've got from my own family (1x genius indigo brother (19) , 1x talented, loving indigo sister (16) and 2 x unsuspecting and baffled parents) and from working with them...hope it's helpful!

Be honest. Sometimes this requires alot of patience and energy but nothing else will work because they know. My mother is a major martyr and has always tried to use guilt to get what she wants and this never washed with me and distanced us for all of my teenage years (it's ok now!).

If you don't know, say you don't know! Don't give your opinion as the answer! You'll only loose their respect when they learn to reason for themselves. Make sure that they know it's only your opinion.

Don't hide things from them (like important family issues eg. if uncle bob and aunty sue are breaking up or grandma's sick) they know something is wrong and it's best if you explain it to them.

Don't talk about them with other adults like they're not there or you think they won't be able to tell you're talking about them. They understand, see, hear and feel far more than you know. I am very close to my brother and sister because no one else understood us so we confided in each other.

Mostly just treat them like mini adults who need guidance on practical day to day living but pretty much have everything else sussed! LAUGH and PLAY!!! We were never allowed to laugh at the dinner table, a stern "eat your dinner" was what we got whenever something warranted giggling. This remains in my mind, petty as it is, a one of the greater injustices! So laugh with them.

Finally, try not talk in absolutes ("life is hard", "who said life was fair?"...etc). ANYTHING is possible and if they grow up knowing this then ANYTHING will be!

My parents don't come off too well in this so i'd just like to say that i wouldn't have any other parents for the world...i made a fabulous choice. They have always been very supportive with whatever we wanted to pursue and gave us every opportunity they could. I love them faults and all...the only way to love anyone.


From: Bekki, an Indigo and Mom of one.

Well, everyone else's posts on this make sense. I want to add two things that I felt very strongly about as a child. I mean... VERY strongly about... like I'm still dealing with the emotional scarring about them.

1) NO GUILT TRIPS. They most likely won't work, and the child will lose all respect for the parent for trying it. In my opinion, respect is the only thing parents of indigos have working for them! The indigo kid is probably smarter, quicker, more intuitive, and more RIGHT than the parent on everything LOL, so they have to have that respect or the parent might as well just step down and let the child take control. Which is not really a good situation... we DO have certain things we need to learn, and we need an adult to teach them to us. Anyway... guilt trips suck. Guilt is the most useless thing there is.

2) FAIRNESS. Things must seem fair. I know that life isn't all that fair... but sometimes a little bit of explaining can make it seem a lot better. To take an example from my life- my brother was horrible in school... really smart but wouldn't do his homework, so he got bad grades. My dad decided an incentive program would help inspire the lazy boy, and said he'd pay him $20 for each A, and $10 for each B. I did my homework and got really good grades... and didn't get any damn money. Now how is that fair? Apparently you have to be lazy to get anything in life? What sort of lesson does that teach?

Well... I know this can be a delicate subject- I have had a hard time when friends of mine who have become parents decided differently on this... but violence has absolutely no place in an indigo's life. I was spanked as a child, and I can tell you that it did absolutely no good. It made me angry. It made me hate my mother. (Perhaps hate is too strong... but it is/was a very deep feeling, and I am still not over it.) Being spanked just made me fear being caught. It didn't teach me the right way to do things. I learned to be sneaky... I learned to put up big, strong walls between my mother and I, so that she couldn't hurt me on any other level. It caused the most horrible memories... and I have a hard time remembering any of the good times, although I think there probably were quite a few.

One time when I was 8 or 9, I was watching TV, and the show was almost over. My mother wanted me to wash the dishes, and I told her I would in just a second- once the show was over. She had been in a bad mood all evening, and I was frequently a smart-ass (because she talked to me that way... so I learned it from her. Another thing for parents to beware of.) Apparently she assumed I was smarting off, and she snapped. She came after me, apparently to slap me, and I ran. I ran up the stairs, and she caught up with me at the top. She grabbed me by the arm, spun me around, and slapped me so hard I flew back 3 or 4 feet, and crashed into my doll cradle. I have never forgotten it or forgiven it. She isn't what I would call a violent person... she didn't beat me or anything. But I still feel abused. No one can tell me that spanking is ok, for any child. But especially not for indigos. We know better. We know it is useless, stupid, and wrong. I lost all respect for my mother... and I never could trust her after that. I felt like I didn't know her at all. I felt betrayed... and almost orphaned. I felt like I was living in someone else's family. So... I would tell all parents to not hit their children. Respect and trust are what encourage children to want to obey. Fear only makes them want to hide (what they've done and who they are.)


From: cumfybear@aol.com aka ZACK Michaud, age 17

Hello Wendy. I would also like to give some advice. For me I have found that my parents at whatever level have information to give me. Like anyone they are just people and personaly I don't like to put myself on a pedastal if it instills hostility on the recipient if they aren't advanced humanly enough to understand. I can be really misunderstood to others and as a result hurt others feelings. My life has been a constant organization (rediscovery?) of realizing that I9m just a kid. And nothing else much more that I care. I go to school and live and speak my peace, good enough. I make plans for the future and yet my plans are not to be angry at anybody because I think that I9m special. Because that is very disruptive.

My main advice. Perhaps talk about parents, and how they should keep a firm grasp on their kids. Do not let them get away with what the parent doesn't believe in. Guidance and disipline are very important on any humanly level.. Of course understanding is important. And yet things cannot always be perfect. You should learn to roll with whatever situation, and know that it will always get better, because time will not stop.


Kailie, age 29

Wendy, Hi! my name is Kailie, I guess I fall into the 'labelled group'of 'Indigo'....my experiences tell me that our message is that of love - like a redirection and awakening of the world to one of love...the crunch time doesn't seem too far away now, my feeling is well within the next 20 years people need this understanding....I have no information further on time - guess those answers are stored in the other 90% of the brain - (hee hee just having some fun) The so-called Indigo children are here more or less to guide the way for those who want to accept....for me indigo means a knowing....something felt, knowledge and understandings....that's all I really have to say right now...good luck with your talk night!


From Carolina Suniaga, mother of 2 boys ages 5 and 7, Caracas, Venezuela

Right now I could say that the best thing we can do as parents of these new children is to relax, to talk less and listen them more, with the heart... Mothers need to learn that having time to share, to laugh, to play, is more important that the perfectly clean house, or the perfect time for the kids to take their bath, or the perfect rutine. I have to realize that I've been missing a lot of time trying to be the perfect mom and wife, when they need more a playmate... a friend... a partner...

Love and kisses,
Carola


My full name is Marie Hetherington. My daughter Yasmine is 18 months, very strong willed, knows exactly what she wants and is very articulate in communicating this. I am not sure whether or not she is Indigo. All I do know is that I cannot parent her as my parents parented me, that she has brought me a very definite and clear message and she has a very strong purpose in being here. Her eyes are deep and old but also sharp and playful, she radiates so much love. I am very fortunate to have her in my life.

We are located most of the time in Cupertino, California (SF Bay Area) and the rest of the time in Niger and Burkina Faso.

Parenting with absolute authority works against the child and parent, it is essential with Indigo children to work with them, to be flexible and not rigid but to understand as a parent what your limits are and to be clear about them.

I enjoy flowing with my daughter, assessing each situation as it arises and taking appropriate action at that moment. Parenting is not a pre-defined set of actions but rather a feeling of what is best at any given moment. It is more work for us as parents to parent in this way as we need to stayed tuned with ourselves, balanced and centered at all times but then that is one of the things Indigos are here to teach us.

love and light
Marie


from Krow, parent of 3 Indigos

When my second daughter (16) was ten, and difficult and still not reading or writing, I did a channeling session with her guides and was told that some of the children are born with an entirely different brain system and that she would need special understanding if I were to teach her. They told me she sees in all levels at once and to expect her to focus in a limited linear way would compromise her own process. They said that these kids were the new expression of human evolution equipped to think in ways that are necessary for the evolutionary process planned on earth and could I try not to interfere, but give her freedom to develop in her own way.

They also told me many souls were coming in with a block to learning much from our society as they came in with their understandings intact and didn't want them messed with by teachers, parents etc. I took her to an assessment place so that I could understand what I was dealing with in terms of our current reality. After three days of tests the doctor told me that she was off the charts for intelligence yet could not read. She gave her labels of ADHD, ADD, et.. but said that she had none of the social and psychological profiles normally associated with that "disorder". We believe it is because she has never had to try to fit in, but has grown up with acceptance for who she is. No more lessons after that, I let her be.


From an Anonymous Indigo Mom

You are asking for advice to mothers of Indigos. I would like them to know that little children hear and understand EVERYTHING, so don't think you can fool them or keep any secrets, because you can't. Allow them all the time they want to be creative. If you hear them "banging" on the piano, it might be that they are getting to know the piano. Let them do it. If they want to color with crayons or paints all afternoon, let them. If they don't want to go to bed at the time YOU think is appropriate, allow them to stay up (because they just aren't going to go to sleep). If they have trouble getting up early in the morning to go to school, well, this is a problem. Try to find them a school the works with the child's inner clock rather than society's definition of the "best" times for school. Treat the child as if he or she is your equal, because he or she IS your equal! They are just shorter, that's all. Pay attention to what they say because they are tuned into Universal wisdom.







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