Advice to Parents from Indigos
From: Tegan Owen
Well I am an indigo-child, well not a child anymore as I am 27, but if
I look back on my childhood, and how I am at the moment this would be
the most important for me:
Honesty!!! As I always intuitively know when someone is being
dishonest, I get soo frustrated with them, and feel that the are
insulting both my intelligence and my intuitiveness by being dishonest
with me. I also hate it when a person is not open or is "beating
around the bush". I want to know everything all the time. Often I know
or feel I know it all ready and just want confirmation of the fact,
and when people just refuse to be open about something or to tell me
why something is the way they see it, I get very irritated. That goes
hand in hand with people that live by tradition and do things for
reasons only known to generations before them. How can one do
something, if you have not questioned it, and it is both illogical and
nonsensical???
So I think parents must be honest, open-minded and always logically
reason everything they say to their indigo children they must
question and challenge themselves. Find new ways of doing things, and
not hide behind traditional nonsense (oh yes and of course treat us
like the royalty we always think we are. 'don't you know who I am?'
..just kidding, hehe)
What I also want to say, if I could wish anything for this world, it
would be for people to feel compete understanding, acceptance and love
for all their fellow souls on this planet!
Love and light
From: Jill
as an Indigo myself, and as an aunt to very gifted Indigo nephew, here
is what I think on this topic...
Indigo children of ALL ages MUST have choices, and they need to be
told WHY, if when there is an answer of NO, or one they do not
like/want. Negotiate negotiate negotiate!
They will never EVER accept a plain "No, just because I said so" type
of discipline. ( Believe me, my Mom continually forced that type of
"NO" with me, and it made things way way worse every single time, it
caused me to act out in many self destructive ways, and I'd do
anything to save even ONE kid from that nightmare) It will ONLY cause
MORE problems for them and their folks to no end! Because the indigo
kids KNOW theres a reason why! ( In fact they usually know what that
reason IS when parents refuse to try with them they inevitably rebel
or withdraw, equally BAD )
They will expect to be told, and if/when they disagree, the parent
must be able to utilize the compromise concept-always. Always!
Consistency is so important as well. And they fully undertsand the
concept of "WHY", if it is explained to them as you would an adult,
for they ARE adults, in their cognitive, intuitive abilities to "get
it".
The most crucial thing in MY opinion a parent should know is that they
must be open to learning FROM their child, as well as teaching
them. It must be a mutual situation.
Rewards are also great, incentives, and so on..to help work towards
handling their frustrations in more positive ways/outlets. And they
NEED creative outlets, in whatever they are into at the moment, for it
usual IS for about a moment, then they master it, and are off to the
next fun "thing" to do/learn/master perfect:)
I ought to know;) I am THE Jill of all trades, master of none;)
From: YVONNE Zollikofer (Switzerland)
The link to my indigo-parents-group in German is :
I'm the parent of an indigo (8) and I myself think I'm sort of
pre-indigo.
I would say one thing that's important with indigo-children is to find
the correct balance of leaving them their freedom to develop, and
giving them the necessary limits and being concequent with them - and
always explaining why a limit exists.
If they speak about things we adults don't seem to understand - don't
say it's nonsense - just take it as it is and try to imagine it's
true. Don't stop them to say "weird" things.
Show them your love in each situation - also when they have a
explosion of energy in any way - be strict where necessary but show
your love !
Never say things that are not perfectly true - they know. If you
talked with a neighbour about them and they asked what you
wheretalking about - say the truth. Take them as sort of adult soul
in the body of a child and help them to accept this - it's not easy
for them . I could feel that from the very first day of Victor's life.
love
from Linda, age 46, Florida
Hi everybody,
I to as a child felt different. I didn't fit in in school. My father
was very strict my mother was not. It was a constant struggle. I
felt completely alone and couldn't understand why. I was unhappy as a
child (at least from what I can remember). To this day I don't
remember most of my childhood. Probably from choice. As an adult I
turned to Alcohol to take away my dis-ease. I do remember being
pushed to believe certain things that in my heart I knew was not
completely "right". I always felt that there was more to life and
felt alone. Today I do know who I am (most of the time.. :-) ).
Especially after I read CWG. (Conversations with God)
I am also a parent of an 11 yo Indigo Child. What a journey! He was
born when I was 36 yo. I am now 46. This wonderful gift I received is
not always fun! :-). At times I realize I'm being just like my father
was, strict...over strict. I know I have to set limits just to keep
my son from spinning out of control. I catch myself and change the
way I relate to him. He is definitely an old soul...full of
compassion and surprises!
With love
From: Heather Crawford
Hey Wendy,
I am an indigo myself and i also teach 3-6 yr olds to ski (who are
obviously mostly indigos). So here's some of the stuff i've got from
my own family (1x genius indigo brother (19) , 1x talented, loving
indigo sister (16) and 2 x unsuspecting and baffled parents) and from
working with them...hope it's helpful!
Be honest. Sometimes this requires alot of patience and energy but
nothing else will work because they know. My mother is a major martyr
and has always tried to use guilt to get what she wants and this never
washed with me and distanced us for all of my teenage years (it's ok
now!).
If you don't know, say you don't know! Don't give your opinion as the
answer! You'll only loose their respect when they learn to reason for
themselves. Make sure that they know it's only your opinion.
Don't hide things from them (like important family issues eg. if uncle
bob and aunty sue are breaking up or grandma's sick) they know
something is wrong and it's best if you explain it to them.
Don't talk about them with other adults like they're not there or you
think they won't be able to tell you're talking about them. They
understand, see, hear and feel far more than you know. I am very close
to my brother and sister because no one else understood us so we
confided in each other.
Mostly just treat them like mini adults who need guidance on practical
day to day living but pretty much have everything else sussed! LAUGH
and PLAY!!! We were never allowed to laugh at the dinner table, a
stern "eat your dinner" was what we got whenever something warranted
giggling. This remains in my mind, petty as it is, a one of the
greater injustices! So laugh with them.
Finally, try not talk in absolutes ("life is hard", "who said life was
fair?"...etc). ANYTHING is possible and if they grow up knowing this
then ANYTHING will be!
My parents don't come off too well in this so i'd just like to say
that i wouldn't have any other parents for the world...i made a
fabulous choice. They have always been very supportive with whatever
we wanted to pursue and gave us every opportunity they could. I love
them faults and all...the only way to love anyone.
From: Bekki, an Indigo and Mom of one.
Well, everyone else's posts on this make sense. I want to add two
things that I felt very strongly about as a child. I mean... VERY
strongly about... like I'm still dealing with the emotional scarring
about them.
1) NO GUILT TRIPS. They most likely won't work, and the child will
lose all respect for the parent for trying it. In my opinion, respect
is the only thing parents of indigos have working for them! The
indigo kid is probably smarter, quicker, more intuitive, and more
RIGHT than the parent on everything LOL, so they have to have that
respect or the parent might as well just step down and let the child
take control. Which is not really a good situation... we DO have
certain things we need to learn, and we need an adult to teach them to
us. Anyway... guilt trips suck. Guilt is the most useless thing
there is.
2) FAIRNESS. Things must seem fair. I know that life isn't all that
fair... but sometimes a little bit of explaining can make it seem a
lot better. To take an example from my life- my brother was horrible
in school... really smart but wouldn't do his homework, so he got bad
grades. My dad decided an incentive program would help inspire the
lazy boy, and said he'd pay him $20 for each A, and $10 for each B. I
did my homework and got really good grades... and didn't get any damn
money. Now how is that fair? Apparently you have to be lazy to get
anything in life? What sort of lesson does that teach?
Well... I know this can be a delicate subject- I have had a hard time
when friends of mine who have become parents decided differently on
this... but violence has absolutely no place in an indigo's life. I
was spanked as a child, and I can tell you that it did absolutely no
good. It made me angry. It made me hate my mother. (Perhaps hate is
too strong... but it is/was a very deep feeling, and I am still not
over it.) Being spanked just made me fear being caught. It didn't
teach me the right way to do things. I learned to be sneaky... I
learned to put up big, strong walls between my mother and I, so that
she couldn't hurt me on any other level. It caused the most horrible
memories... and I have a hard time remembering any of the good times,
although I think there probably were quite a few.
One time when I was 8 or 9, I was watching TV, and the show was almost
over. My mother wanted me to wash the dishes, and I told her I would
in just a second- once the show was over. She had been in a bad mood
all evening, and I was frequently a smart-ass (because she talked to
me that way... so I learned it from her. Another thing for parents to
beware of.) Apparently she assumed I was smarting off, and she
snapped. She came after me, apparently to slap me, and I ran. I ran
up the stairs, and she caught up with me at the top. She grabbed me
by the arm, spun me around, and slapped me so hard I flew back 3 or 4
feet, and crashed into my doll cradle. I have never forgotten it or
forgiven it. She isn't what I would call a violent person... she
didn't beat me or anything. But I still feel abused. No one can tell
me that spanking is ok, for any child. But especially not for
indigos. We know better. We know it is useless, stupid, and wrong.
I lost all respect for my mother... and I never could trust her after
that. I felt like I didn't know her at all. I felt betrayed... and
almost orphaned. I felt like I was living in someone else's family.
So... I would tell all parents to not hit their children. Respect and
trust are what encourage children to want to obey. Fear only makes
them want to hide (what they've done and who they are.)
From: cumfybear@aol.com aka ZACK Michaud, age 17
Hello Wendy. I would also like to give some advice. For me I have
found that my parents at whatever level have information to give me.
Like anyone they are just people and personaly I don't like to put
myself on a pedastal if it instills hostility on the recipient if they
aren't advanced humanly enough to understand. I can be really
misunderstood to others and as a result hurt others feelings. My life
has been a constant organization (rediscovery?) of realizing that I9m
just a kid. And nothing else much more that I care. I go to school and
live and speak my peace, good enough. I make plans for the future and
yet my plans are not to be angry at anybody because I think that I9m
special. Because that is very disruptive.
My main advice. Perhaps talk about parents, and how they should keep a
firm grasp on their kids. Do not let them get away with what the
parent doesn't believe in. Guidance and disipline are very important
on any humanly level.. Of course understanding is important. And yet
things cannot always be perfect. You should learn to roll with
whatever situation, and know that it will always get better, because
time will not stop.
Kailie, age 29
Wendy, Hi! my name is Kailie, I guess I fall into the 'labelled
group'of 'Indigo'....my experiences tell me that our message is that
of love - like a redirection and awakening of the world to one of
love...the crunch time doesn't seem too far away now, my feeling is
well within the next 20 years people need this understanding....I have
no information further on time - guess those answers are stored in the
other 90% of the brain - (hee hee just having some fun) The so-called
Indigo children are here more or less to guide the way for those who
want to accept....for me indigo means a knowing....something felt,
knowledge and understandings....that's all I really have to say right
now...good luck with your talk night!
From Carolina Suniaga, mother of 2 boys ages 5 and 7, Caracas,
Venezuela
Right now I could say that the best thing we can do as parents of
these new children is to relax, to talk less and listen them more,
with the heart... Mothers need to learn that having time to share, to
laugh, to play, is more important that the perfectly clean house, or
the perfect time for the kids to take their bath, or the perfect
rutine. I have to realize that I've been missing a lot of time trying
to be the perfect mom and wife, when they need more a playmate... a
friend... a partner...
Love and kisses,
My full name is Marie Hetherington. My daughter Yasmine is 18 months,
very strong willed, knows exactly what she wants and is very
articulate in communicating this. I am not sure whether or not she is
Indigo. All I do know is that I cannot parent her as my parents
parented me, that she has brought me a very definite and clear message
and she has a very strong purpose in being here. Her eyes are deep
and old but also sharp and playful, she radiates so much love. I am
very fortunate to have her in my life.
We are located most of the time in Cupertino, California (SF Bay Area)
and the rest of the time in Niger and Burkina Faso.
Parenting with absolute authority works against the child and parent,
it is essential with Indigo children to work with them, to be flexible
and not rigid but to understand as a parent what your limits are and
to be clear about them.
I enjoy flowing with my daughter, assessing each situation as it
arises and taking appropriate action at that moment. Parenting is not
a pre-defined set of actions but rather a feeling of what is best at
any given moment. It is more work for us as parents to parent in this
way as we need to stayed tuned with ourselves, balanced and centered
at all times but then that is one of the things Indigos are here to
teach us.
love and light
from Krow, parent of 3 Indigos
When my second daughter (16) was ten, and difficult and still not
reading or writing, I did a channeling session with her guides and was
told that some of the children are born with an entirely different
brain system and that she would need special understanding if I were
to teach her. They told me she sees in all levels at once and to
expect her to focus in a limited linear way would compromise her own
process. They said that these kids were the new expression of human
evolution equipped to think in ways that are necessary for the
evolutionary process planned on earth and could I try not to
interfere, but give her freedom to develop in her own way.
They also told me many souls were coming in with a block to
learning much from our society as they came in with their understandings
intact and didn't want them messed with by teachers, parents etc. I
took her to an assessment place so that I could understand what I was
dealing with in terms of our current reality. After three days of tests
the doctor told me that she was off the charts for intelligence yet
could not read. She gave her labels of ADHD, ADD, et.. but said that she
had none of the social and psychological profiles normally associated
with that "disorder". We believe it is because she has never had to try
to fit in, but has grown up with acceptance for who she is. No more
lessons after that, I let her be.
From an Anonymous Indigo Mom
You are asking for advice to mothers of Indigos. I would like them to
know that little children hear and understand EVERYTHING, so don't
think you can fool them or keep any secrets, because you can't. Allow
them all the time they want to be creative. If you hear them
"banging" on the piano, it might be that they are getting to know the
piano. Let them do it. If they want to color with crayons or paints
all afternoon, let them. If they don't want to go to bed at the time
YOU think is appropriate, allow them to stay up (because they just
aren't going to go to sleep). If they have trouble getting up early
in the morning to go to school, well, this is a problem. Try to find
them a school the works with the child's inner clock rather than
society's definition of the "best" times for school. Treat the child
as if he or she is your equal, because he or she IS your equal! They
are just shorter, that's all. Pay attention to what they say because
they are tuned into Universal wisdom.
OR
NEXT Indigos Are a Gift To Yourself
Tegan
Indigo-Kinder-subscribe@egroups.de
Yvonne
Linda
Carola
Marie