Editor's Note - This thread is posted with permission from all the authors. Thanks everyone!
I have a question ~ What happens when an indigo grows up with parents who verbally and physically abuse them? Parents who manipulated them and put them as a side show saying they were "different" and "funny" in a negative way? Parents who often said, and did regret the day they were born?
How does this effect the indigo growing up? And if indigos choose their parents before they come into this world, why would they choose parents like that?
My heart really goes out to you!! This is some of my immediate thoughts.
I do believe that we have choose every situation we find ourselves in. I believe that we come from a universal source of complete love an understanding, and I know it must be hard to begin to comprehend why you would have chosen this situation - but that is the beautiful thing! You did choose it - why because you are probably a very special, enlightened, spiritual soul, with a lot more spiritual strength than what you give yourself credit for. I do not believe that we would be put in a situation, which did not help us grow spiritually or something we could not ultimately handle.
What you must remember is that your current family, are there to teach you lessons, and you are there to teach them lessons. We are all separate souls living our own lives of karma and earthly lessons..but we are also all connected souls outside earths duality, and we each do as souls love each other. If you could remember this and disassociate your feelings, and just see them as that nothing more, nothing less. They are learning their own lessons. Perhaps you are here in their lives, to show them love and understanding..(I think you would not feel like doing that now though, hmmm).
Remember earth is a school, we are all in a very well planned play, the people surrounding us being actors in this play. When the curtains close, each will take off their masks and hug each other with love, thank each other for the lessons they brought..you will see.
You wanted to know how it affects us growing up - well we are generally very emotionally sensitive, as I know that things such as what you are gowig through, would make me physically sick, depressed, anxious, and living with the feeling of constant insecurity. But now that I have reached the end of the tunnel, I can turn round and say, I would not have chosen it differently. The compassionate, deeply sensitive person I am today, is through my experiences. It has given me the ability to be able to share others saddened emotions, and help them. It has given me a depth of soul, that living a normal life probably would not have.
Do not take what they say personally, as I am sure in the REAL scheme of things you are very SPECIAL and SPIRITUALLY STRONG. Remember this!
Love and light
What courage it takes to share your story. I'm glad you feel you can share it with us. Big hugs from Seattle (((((((((((Tracie)))))))))))) I am 26 and am finally starting to deal with my childhood. My family is pretty open minded and I believe everyone tried their best, but there was lots of conflicts and yelling and threats, and chaos....So right now I'm trying to identify old unproductive thinking patterns i learned as survial skills when I was in that emotionally hostile environment. Identify and discard them for healthier ways of being. Sometimes in my adult life I have surreal moments when I wonder if all that really happened, or was all that pain just in my head. But it did happen and i have to validate my pain and woundedness - this is harder when the abuse is psychological or emotional, not physical. I was struggling with issues of who is to blame, becuase I am tired of balming myself. But I know blame is not a very constructive way of thinking about things. Ahhhh....life is hard. Dealing with shit is hard. But I am realizing more and more that things happen for a reason. Everything in my life has been building up to this moment, so I could be here struggling now with these issues. And once I struggle with them and come out the other side, I will be a stronger person, with more empathy and emotional depth than would be possible otherwise.
Your parents and why they treated you so cruelly happened for a reason. Try to figure out what it was - as painful as it is to think about. Maybe so you could develop your courage under fire. Maybe so you could understand others in similar situations. Try to see what happened to you in a positive light, as a test you had to go through to make you the person you need to be. I know this is difficult, but I think that by doing it, you are in part reclaiming your past. You are taking that hurtful past experience and reclaiming it as a learning experience, reclaiming your power within the situation. I wish you the best and my heart goes out to you in your process of healing. Keep in the struggle and know you are loved and cared for by the universe.
Peace and Love, Thea
Oh Tracie, hang in there. I am the mother of 3 indigo children, and an indigo myself I think. I had parents like that. It's so hard isn't it?
This might sound harsh, I don't mean for it to at all though, but do what you came here to do, be the emissary of love that you truly are. Ask for help from the Universe. Tell God what a really hard time you are having. I have screamed at him before. He can take it. In fact he depends on us to let him know what it's like here. Tell him what you need and then be open to whatever form it comes in. Your parents might not change but perhaps someone else will come into your life to parent you a bit in a loving way.
Why do we choose it? I think so we can develop compassionate hearts. Try to send them love and light even though they are so mean to you. And stay in the light yourself!!!!! Protect yourself. Just keep remembering how much you are loved by your true ultimate parents.
How old are you? Are you in school? Your time with them will pass, in the meantime though, try as hard as you can to realize they are in pain, that is why they behave that way and don't know how to be better parents. Not because they don't love you, and not because you don't deserve to be loved. Their behavior is not about you, no matter what they say, its about themselves and what's going on inside them, all their ugly memories and tapes they hear over and over again in their heads. Try to detach, stand back and see what is really going on with them.
Are you aware of having guides around you? They will listen lovingly to you, and will help you. Remember you are always surrounded by love. There are angels everywhere to help us. I've had angels around me all along but never knew to talk to them or ask them for help until many years after getting away from my parents.
Much love to you Tracie,
Response from Tracie
It was hard growing up, but honestly, I have grown beyond those times, let go of that pain and darkness. I used it to "fly" higher than ever, in fact. I didn't write for help really, I wrote out of curiousity, .. um... more like, I wanted to be sure, in a sense, that what was in my mind (as far as the reasons I endured it all) was true. I am very strong and have a powerful sense of Who I Am and my purpose, I know I am the emissary of love that I am --- sometimes I do doubt myself, though, because I am the only one (still) that I know in real life that's like this.
More about me - I have just turned 20 (like I said I'm beyond the pain but the questions still linger in my mind from time to time) and I'm not in college. I have a "different" belief about careers and such, and the idea of going to college to get a "career" doesn't appeal to me. I know why I'm here, and it's not to get a career and make money and work for money. There's more for me to do - I'm here to shine light upon people, to show people the Light and be this emissary of love. And I'm good at doing this! Sure I want to go to college to learn new things
Again, I'm not in any pain now - I have built a world for myself and my horizons are endless. I am very aware of the guides around me, I see the signs and I hear them and follow them (Especially in the past year, ESPECIALLY in the past month!)
Thank you for responding!! It goes right to my heart*
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