My name is Yvette, I'm 36 years old, and I happened on to the adult indigo portion of the website investigating for my children. I feel I'm an Indigo, but don't know how to confirm this. Since I read the "traits" of adult indigos, my reference point became pretty clear, even as a child. I've been lost, confused, dazed, disoriented, empty--like finding out you were adopted and looking for your birth parents. I've experienced actual physiological changes within my body (severe headaches, night sweats, cramping [I've had a hysterectomy], a stomach "virus", changes in body odor, and other minute, non-significant changes that are noticeable). There was nothing gradual about my transition. In fact, it was, and still is, very frightening. I've always been psychic and sensitive, but it seems the frequency of my antanae have increased to the nth and I'm having trouble coping with my extra sensitivity (like a wrecking ball plowing into my plexus). I can feel everything everyone feels, good or bad, and it's hard to digest this as a regular diet. I've always done this, but more so now.
Since I was a child, I've always felt I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could never put my finger on it, or form a cognitive thought as to why I would be experiencing these feelings. My mother did as good a job as she could raising me (she calls herself a rock back then and wished she knew then what she knows now). I think she did a fantastic job all things considered. She raised my brother and me on pure instinct. But I recall sitting down with my mother not too long ago (I suppose a couple of years ago) and recounted with her certain memories I had, in my interpretation, as a young child. These memories, as it turns out, were prenatal and I wasn't due to make my grande entrance into the world for another couple of months. Our bottom jaws dropped into our laps and we never knew where to go with this. I could stare up into the sky, especially at night, and feel a "connectedness" that I have since lost, but still feel on occasion. An interesting side note: when I was pregnant with both of my children, I could feel them "visiting" me on occasion (usually in the bathroom as luck would have it, I guess it was sitting over the water). But when they would visit, it was the same feeling of 'not belonging' I felt so frequently as a child. Could it have possibly been that "indigo" feeling???
I have many mixed feelings and emotions about this. None of them bad, just confusing. Luckily, though, my children are indigo and I have had excellent luck in raising them. I was raising them as indigos before I even knew what one was (instinctual, I suppose). They are wonderful, loving, well-behaved and well-adjusted children and I suppose it's my indigo heritage that helped me attain these goals. Unfortunately, I lost them in a custody battle with my ex-husband, but that is another sordid, heart-wrenching story for another e-mail (watch out for those black hats!).
But I think my biggest questions is: How do I know that I am an indigo? There are no neon signs, no titles tatooed on my forehead, no mark of "indigo" anywhere on my body, no letters in the mail, nothing. So how do I know? The feeling of not knowing isn't any better to cope with than knowing and not having anywhere to go with it. I would greatly appreciate any input from other indigos as to who I am, or might be, and where I go from here; and am I really an indigo? I would really like to 'belong' somewhere, someplace, with someone(s). To have a common goal and interests. To help me with my children. To guide me in my indigo ways. 36 years old is no time to be born again. This indigo thing puts a different slant and perspective onto everything I've held true to heart as far as my prior belief system within. It doesn't negate anything, everything just feels different. Who am I?
Love, Light and Peace to You and Yours,
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