First, I'll preface by saying I'm a 54-year old woman with 5 children and 5 grandchildren (via my second husband's son). I am in my second marriage and my first husband was killed on the highway when I was 27 and had three small children, aged 1, 3, and 5. At that time I went back to college and earned my degree, met my second husband in my last year at a major Pennsylvania university,then went to graduate school at a university in Montana. My youngest child is now going on 15 and is an Indigo, as is my oldest child. I don't know that the middle ones are, though. Severe behavior and health problems with my youngest have led me to metagifted.org. I am very family oriented and have always chosen family needs over career opportunities. I am capable of executive tasks, yet have valued relationships over material success. I have always felt my own opportunity for doing my thing would come in my later years when I could use my counseling degree as an "elder." I have taught school, gifted children and mixed classes. I have taught at the university level, training teachers in a university without walls program where student-designed projects were emphasized rather than learned that culminated in testing.
I strongly believe that our current education system must be changed; it is dysfunctional and harmful to children and other living things, including the teachers who work in it. My husband is a science teacher and is a very caring man. He is also an artist. We just took a course in Healing Touch Level One together. We read to each other at night and are best friends. I have journaled since age 11 and read voraciously.
In the past year I have had the courage and self-conviction to finally reject the church I was raised in because so much of its teachings go against my own truth. This was extremely difficult for me. The final straw was the declaration about homosexuals. Any church that preaches love, then turns around and condemns an entire group of people is not the church for me. I am very drawn to Eastern religions and have decided that I need, for myself, to follow my own belief system that may or may not include parts of other faiths. I'm clearly drawn to the metaphysical.
I live in the Denver metro area but grew up in a tiny town in western Pennsylvania. My current job has nothing to do with my current work. Now to the questions.
Intelligence: enough to get through grad school
Very creative and enjoy making things: originality is one of my strengths, and I do enjoy creating (art, writing, foods, material projects, ways of being, curriculum planning)
Always need to know WHY: I have gotten into trouble with this question many times. I need to know the underlying reasons for something before I can feel comfortable. To me WHY is just as, if not more, important than HOW.
Had disgust and perhaps loathing for the inanity of much of the required work in school and the repetition: The pace of school when I was a student drove me crazy until I hit high school and then only some of the classes were paced and designed to hold my interest: algebra, chemistry, biology, American literature, in particular, because the teachers were exceptional people who were not like the rest of the teachers. They were very creative and gifted themselves. College was a mixed bag, too. There were classes I got A's in without attending them.
Were rebellious in school, etc: I did rebel as a sophomore in high school. Wanted to attend another school so I could be in a real marching band. I refused to go to school for 3 weeks but in the end, they wore me down and I had to go back. I insisted on being in a different level, however, when I did go back.
Early existential depression and feelings of helplessness: I worried a lot, like many of my generation, about nuclear war. We had the bomb drills while I was in elementary school. This hung over me like a heavy oversized raincoat. I often stayed awake at night trying to work out a plan to avoid this nuclear war. I felt different from most of my family and friends. I did have several aunts who accepted me as I was and encouraged me. If I hadn't had these people, I would have been depressed. I wanted to read more and more and more and there weren't enough books available to me. At home we had maybe 6 books total and I had them practically memorized. Our school library was tiny and I went through it quickly. The bookmobile came infrequently and I was always excited to have new choices when it did. In 6th grade I had a teacher who opened the entire world to me by her attitude,encouragement, and stories. We remained friends until her death last year. She taught among the southwest Native Americans, the migrant workers in Tenneessee, and prisoners in Eastern Pennsylvania and always shared her adventures with me as I was home raising small children later on.
Have difficulty in service-oriented jobs/resistance to authority and caste system of employment: The medical profession and the teaching hierarchy have been very difficult for me to work with because of the way they're structured. I prefer to work on a team where everyone has equal power.
Prefer cooperative efforts or leadership position or solo if expertise is valued: absolutely yes
Have deep empathy for others, yet an intolerance of stupidity: I would say as I've come to accept myself more, I've had more empathy for others. Stupidity of others has always been a problem for me. I see simple solutions to many problems, yet "tradition" and "authority" prevent implementation.
Extremely emotionally sensitive/No expression of emotion (full shielding): I have been more shielded up until the mid-90s. Before that I felt too vulnerable showing feelings to other than trusted friends.
Trouble with rage: yes, I have sometimes gotten really provoked and have been clueless as to where it came from. Growing up, anger was forbidden in our home, so I didn't know how to express it appropriately and stuffed it. In grad school I began to let go of this and continue to work at it.
Have trouble with most systems: (See comments above and add the political and economic systems) YES
Alienation from politics: I have always voted and often made my views known because I take seriously the admonition that if you don't work to change it, you share in the responsibility of its continuing. In more recent years, I have come to believe that we must first change ourselves in order to effect world-wide change. I still vote and write letters, but that's the extent of my politics.
Frustration with or rejection of traditional American dream: I guess I don't really care about being traditional and think we need to be more realistic about sharing and about living in ways that make sense now. I think children need much more attention and support (through college) than they now get. I think adults need much more attention and support than they now get, for that matter. People are more important than things. I want to see more acceptance of everyone and more support for basic life needs for everyone, including the Earth who has needs of her own.
Anger at rights taken away: of course
Burning desire to do something to change and improve the world: since childhood, yes. The Kryon books and Tobias channelings and other metaphysical readings are very appropo to me in recent times.
Have psychic or spiritual interest fairly young: I think from the time I was a toddler I have been tuned into the spiritual and have always had an intimate relationship with the Divine. The outward forms of that have changed over the years but the main belief system has remained the same.
Had few if any Indigo role models: My 6th grade teacher and a couple of my high school teachers were similar to Indigos. Books played a major role in shaping me.
Strong intuition: yes
Random behavior pattern or mind style: I jump all over the place in conversations because of tangent connections I see that others may not immediately follow. My Myers-Briggs cluster is ENFP now; it used to be ENTJ. The big picture is much more important to me than the details, yet I always seem to be the one in my family now to attend to the details because I live with other intuitives!
Psychic experiences: Always talked to my angels, have powerful dreams, have had predictive feelings that helped me avoid danger, etc.
Seek meaning and understanding: yes in many ways and many forms since childhood.
If find balance they may become very strong, healthy, happy lightworkers: I'm moving toward that, and hope to be of more service to others. I identify myself now as a lightworker. I am grateful to All That Is for making me a persevering person!
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