Adult Indigo Bio - Jeff

First to say I am not quite sure if I am an indigo or not. A good friend believes I am and I fit about 90% of the criteria for being one (as on the metagifted site) but I have always felt unique and alone. Its really weird that many of you write about things to this list that I have come up with on my own. I do not read spiritual books that much (except for numerology :) as I think that it will "taint" me into following one specific path, as I like to take everything I learn from life and apply it to myself. I think I am on the right way but kinda stuck in a rut right now...which leads me into my bio:

Welp I was born June 8, 1971 so that makes me 29 but almost 30 ;) Lived in Iowa most my life and went through various types of cultural things, from headbanger, to skater, to punk to goth, to raver to finally myself (almost i think hehe). Shortly after turning 18 I joined the Marines to get some direction in my life, after being in boot camp for 5 months because I refused to be broken down I was sent out (I think they got tired of seeing me) and was put on a base in Memphis to learn about planes. I decided this wasn't for me and had "creative differences" with my fellow marines. They decided I would be better off in the infrantry, I decided I wouldn't so promptly went awol and moved around the country a bit, finally ending up in san francisco. My old federal buddies got me at a peace rally against the gulf war and brought me back.

After serving some time I left the military back to Iowa where I decided to do something with music which wound me up in Columbus at a recording school. Hung around Columbus awhile and discovered these great all night dance parties called raves (well they were called warehouse parties back when I went to my first ones back in 1991), these immediately grabbed my attention. I felt a deep pull that I could not deny and literally dropped everything I owned and went to San Francisco.

I should note that my whole life has been dedicated to spirituality in one form or another. Having studied mostly Keltic religions and other shamanistic paths since the age of 12. San Francisco was my heart home though. I finally felt I could be myself. And through an intense series of events while being homeless by choice there I came to the thing that I had wished for my whole life, Belief. I had always had faith in other energy but there is just something in the back of my head saying that this cannot be real, etc. But I had finally come to the point of belief where I believed in an energy that was really there and could affect things. I saw the magik around me and helped affect it. Unfortunately, during this period I also learned that you need walls around you to protect yourself. I had no teacher to tell me these things really, just the street and "random" events that helped me along. So I proceeded to build walls around myself so that I would not feel the intense pain of the world. I also felt that it was not time yet.

After spending 4 years out in San Francisco I moved back to Iowa to sort out all I had learned in SF, and that is where I am at now. I feel ready to move back into things and remove some shells but am kinda stuck as I put myself on a very inner path where I am celibate and closed off from the world, maybe this is the beginning of me coming back out, I hope so as I as I kinda stuck :) Anyone have a spare tire to get me going again, hehe. Anyway, currently I throw rave events around Ames, Iowa. I also plan on doing some intense smaller spiritual campouts based around goa trance music and good people, I will let you know when that happens :)

I am rambling, here is my story and I think this is the first time I've told most the pieces in one place. Thanks for viewing :)

Love & Light,

Jeff Zelnio
Subconscious Collective