I feel close today, at this moment with My Self than I ever have on this earth, in this plane.
I had a near death experience when I was 15, in 1990 - this month marks the 11 year anniversary, 11 is a big number for me.
I fell roughly 40 feet and landed on my head between 2 huge rocks. My friend Terra and I were over 3 miles from the nearest house and it was just the two of us. We were hiking up a river, up Grouse Mountain in North Vancouver, BC. We were searching for a bigger water pool to swim in, there were a lot of waterfalls, there was no trail, we were bushwacking. I really hurt myself, I was unconscious for days. Massive brain trauma, I lost a lot of blood, fractured my skull, shoulders, and neck. I bruised my brain so badly the doctors weren't sure I would make it, even days after.
They said that I might never have the 'mentality' I had again, or be able to develop properly from there. I would be plagued by seziures and memory loss. I remember just sitting there looking at this doctor - thinking ' what does this guy know??', yeah I was a little freaked, I remember. But my family and friends were the worst. They were all so freaked out for me, it scared me and I just tried desperately to do my best to care for them. It was so strange.
Looking back I didn't really give myself time to heal, I just did my best to rejoin my life. I aced my way through school right into college with really little effort, I had been a mediocre student before my accident. I had a few emotional balance and memory issues, I remember little from the few years previous to my accident, especially right after. The doctors were right about one thing though - the headaches!!! Pain killers were my constant companion until about 1994 when I weaned myself off - relying heavily on the sister herb and a few wild hallucinogens to ease my shift - ha ha.
During this time I believe I was in my body very little - I mean as spirit literally in my body - very little if ever. I think that quantity of drugs would be apt to do the same to anyone?? It was about 1995 or 6 that I had enough of my miserable life and was either going to end it or change it. I had awoken from my accident with a renewed sense of eternity and a glimpse of spirituality. I believed in God and something bigger - coming from a totally un-religious background, I started to know that there was a larger plan. Things I remember knowing as a really young child - I was remembering again.
There were many miracles that day, right when I fell 2 boys appeared just up the trail from us. We had seen maybe only 3 other people all day!! And we were really far out. It was summer and was light until very late at night, the water was low and I landed only 2 feet from the edge of a precipice which plummited down another 50 feet or more. Not to mention landing between two large rocks, either one would have been devastating head on. My awesome friend Terra looked after my body, and was with me. ( we are still really close )
That day my grandmother's pastor (it was Sunday) stopped his sermon and after collecting himself, with great emotion warned the congregation to pray for their grandchildren for there was one in great need. My grandmother knew, she lives 6 hours away in Kelowna.
All of these miracles, and more, came together for me - not to mention the 3 crews of firemen who spent the next 5 hours getting me out of the bush!! I am grateful, but it's hard to ever be grateful enough to thank all of those people who came together that day for me.
I believed that I had 'something to do here' and so decided to stay and change my life. Find myself and live a life I could love, honouring the wisdom within. It sounds so grand now as I say it, but back then I was desperate to learn. I remember my first ' fix' of energy and man, it blew my mind. I still haven't experienced anything quite as intense as that, it was a little taste of total self - enough to drive my quest forever.
Gee, I hadn't planned to go on this long at all - Whew!! I guess this is my bio, finally - ha ha.
Blessings to you all . . .
Be Light From Within and Let Your Light So Shine
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