I was born in Mexico city, October 15, 1948. My parents are Mexican also, my father a civil engineer, my mother a housewife. They had more children than they could handle, but they both are catholic and very rigid. These are my siblings.
Dario male, electrical engineer, married 2 times, 53 years old
Sergio male, civil engineer, married 2 times, 52
Gabriela (myself) female, psychoanalyst, divorced 51
Alejandro male, watchmaker, married, 50
Leopoldo male, sociologist, single, committed suicide at 34, should be 48
Gonzalo male, industrial engineer, single, 47
Marcela female, housewife, married, 43
Estela female, psychoanalyst, married 2 times, 40
As you may notice I am the third and also the oldest woman. My mother expected me as a young child to understand. She didn't have time for me and I should have helped her. As far as I can remember she had time for the others - I always thought because they were men and as I couldn't reach her expectations and rigid rules I decided I was unworthy. I became very shy and quite. At the same time I knew I was special. I had a special mission, like teaching or something like that. I remember I wanted to write a book about how to raise children, because I didn't agree with my parents' way. I knew they were wrong, doing so many harmful things to us, living without awareness. I was around 8 at this time and started reading all I could about the human body, psychology, children development, healing.
I was extremely sensitive to others and the environment, I was scared because many times I knew in advance exactly what my father was going to say. It wasn't until many years later I learned I was reading his mind. It has happened several times in my life with other people also and sometimes with spirits (?) around me. With living people, I recently realized they don't read minds. I tried to communicate telepathically because for me is too easy. So I felt different from the beginning. I also was very concerned with healing plants, animals, my brother's souls because I was too emphatic and I could feel, even at distance, when they were suffering.
I remember my mother telling me how painful and awful it was to have children (I was around 9). I protected myself by shouting inside me "It is not true, you don't know how. You could do it different, but you are wrong."
By the time I reached adolescence I was a mess. I was confused, very shy, more isolated than in childhood, and also with a lot of knowledge (not precisely wisdom) but feeling split. I had another part with a huge faith telling me that my essence was intact.
I discovered Lobsang Rampa and understood many experiences and dreams I had have, like being floating above my body (around one year old the first time), knowing places I had never been in, and having some knowledge I was sure I never studied or read.
I was always a very good student although I got bored at school, I didn't agree with having children quote, making them memorize with out reasoning, telling them what to think and not allowing free expression of their bodies and minds. I also hated being cheated, manipulated, threatened or bribed as a way of forcing a child do as you want, so I disagreed with my parents, teachers and government as authorities, I always thought with love, respecting individuality, expression, etc. you could teach a child, because what children want most is to love and being loved.
I found one of my answers at 17 when I learned about natural childbirth, I remember I thought, "I knew it existed, so I was right", and later on, at 24, I became a natural childbirth teacher.
I married at 21, had 3 children and an alcoholic husband. I made many mistakes in raising my children mostly because of my depression and psychosomatic illness. I finally got a divorce 15 years later, when I was 37. During that time I was very interested in health, anatomy, physiology, neuroanatomy, metaphysics and psychology. I started college at 31 and got my clinical psychology diploma at 36 with a summa cum laude degree.
I also started psychoanalysis at 34 and remained there until I got my diploma as a psychoanalyst at 45.
Sometime during it I started arguing with my second psychoanalyst telling that it was splitting me as it only was working with my mind and I was a whole, I needed something that reunited my body, mind, soul and spirit, and I knew this way of healing existed, so I started searching.
Body sensitize, action therapy, Bach flowers, Reiki 1 and 2, crystals, reincarnation therapy, and chi kung, both studied and as a patient (client) was my search.
Around 1993 (at 45) I had a mystic experience that lasted for about a year and a half. I could see auras, interaction between people and nature and had a wonderful feeling of being connected with the universe. I also felt continuity as knowing it was only one life in my journey so I was only learning and it really didn't matter what happened because my essence couldn't be harmed, feeling God so I didn't need any belief to prove it, incredible wisdom, etc. I also felt a lot of people envying me and started having dreams of being attacked.
I got sick and was feeling awful, something I can't explain, I felt I was dying, even doctors confirmed but couldn't find a reason for it, I was tired, lets say exhausted physically, emotionally and I would say spiritually also. I started to change, a rage I couldn't explain, I had never even shouted when angry and know I was throwing thing with out control, very depressed, lack of energy.
I returned to psychoanalysis, this time with action therapy technique, and discovered my father had sexually abused me as a child. When I complained they try to put me in a mental institution, so I had to get an official mental health certificate. That was the year for fear, I also had one for rage, sadness and confusion.
I met Sharon Caulder in Mexico city and she treated me for several days, she said I was possessed. I started to recover and became very interested in psychotronics. Unfortunately Sharon didn't came back to Mexico, I had been under treatment for recovery several times at Oakland, Cal. and learned a lot from her. I wish I could train myself with her but I can't afford it now.
Last year I moved to Queretaro, about 2 hours from Mexico city, I'm recovering. I left psychoanalysis and I treat my clients with energy, Bach flowers and what I learned from Sharon.
I have had experiences of seeing auras, hearing other people thoughts, knowing what is going to happen, when someone far away is in trouble, who is going to call or arrive, some visions I still don't understand, seeing dark spot like shadows in my clients (I remove them and they get better), telling things or explaining something I don't know I knew, etc. although I can't control these phenomena yet. I'm not as confused as I used to be not knowing I was different and I thinking I was crazy.
I'm feeling fine, recovering energy, I'm not depressed any more, I still can't believe the changes I see in my clients!!!
My two older daughters are married and living in Mexico, one of them has also premonitions. My son is living in Oakland, Cal., he has an incredible intuition and is certainly an indigo adult.
I have 2 grandchildren, a girl and a boy, both incredibly intelligent and the boy with physical characteristics of an indigo.
I've always being very creative, it has been my refuge, and 5 years ago I discovered I have the gift of art and started painting without classes.
I think you can find some reasons why I think I'm an indigo, the questionnaire you have in you web site seems to have been written for me, I fit every one.
I don't mind if you publish my story with or without my name.
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