Ok here goes my bio. I am an 18 year old female i was born in mexico city, born and raised as a pagan. My biological father wasn't very happy with my birth and i never recieved love from him to be honest.
So my parents got separated when i was 2 and haven't known much of him since then i am practically dead for him. So my mom went back to living with my grandmother and since then both my mom and her brother have been taking care of me and even if he is my uncle i call him dad because he's been more of my father to me than my biological one.
I was a rejected child in school had to stand a lot of agresions from kids my own age and a couple from teachers too. I was always the outsider the one that other people would pick on without geting in trouble up to when i was around 11 that's when i had my first explosion. I took a girl by the hair and made her almost kneel down in front me in the middle of the class. I know it wasn't the best but it comes down to a point when you just can't stand it anymore and you snap. I've always been more of a pacifist, prefer to discuss things rather than to argue but when my patience ends there's not much i can do and i either cry of frustration and anger or explode.
After that i started being more agressive in school i still didn't have any friends in there but at least no one would bother me anymore. At 16 i lost my virginity in a rape but i kept it quiet back then. Not because i was afraid of my parents reaction but back then my mom's health was very bad, she almost dies and we were having echonomical problems so i kept quiet because i felt like it would be a burden to my parents.
I fell into bullimia after that and then a really severe depresion much more deep than the ones i have had before. I started hurting myself sometimes i would scratch my wrists till they bled. I went into a breakdown felt like there was not much for me and really didn't cared about myself i was literally burned inside. Had lost faith in everything and everyone and was really hard to built myself back up from zero but as they say what doesn't kills you makes you stronger.
I finally was able to controll my bullimia and stoped hurting myself and then i met what i thought was the man of my life he really tought me a lot. But he just brought another breakdown for me though i wont much in there. After he left I started taking drugs, mainly coke and drinking daily. Again just trying to escape reality and my depression.
I finally managed to put myself out of all drugs because i lost a friend thanks to an od. I was dating a guy back then and once he was drunk and stoped his car in a dark alley. Not much to say here really i still have flashbacks from both rapes and most likely i always will.
I am managing to forgive but it is not easy to forgive people that change your life so drastically and in such a negative way but i am trying. About 2 months ago i finally stoped drinking because my mom finally figured something was wrong and made me promisse i wouldn't drink anymore. Believe me i'm thankfull for that.
I've been engaged once already but i am still friends with that man and i care a lot for him. So guess i have a bit of a history for being 18 but i am alive and stronger now and i am thankfull for that. I recognise i haven't been much of an angel but well no one is perfect. So that's my life in just a couple of words. Thank you all for your time.
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